We probably don’t need to tell you there are a lot of sexual self-help materials on the web and in bookstores. The challenge lies in sorting the credible, science-based content from the materials aimed more at author self-promotion or a quick buck rather than sound, long-term strategies for sexual health. For menopause information and help along those lines, check out the resources at the end of this program.
If you’re not sure about trying sex therapy just yet, you might look for an educational DVD on the sensate focus techniques taught by sex therapists.
Even after sorting the reliable sources from the more questionable ones, there are still a lot of books on sex after midlife. Pick out a few that apply best to you, identify some reliable online resources, and share these with your partner. Sharing helpful websites or underlining and sharing book passages that you find relevant can be a good way to ease into communicating with your partner about your shared sexual problems if direct discussion is difficult at first. Also, if you’re not sure about trying sex therapy just yet, you might look for an educational DVD on the sensate focus techniques taught by sex therapists.
In addition to providing information, books and videos can be helpful in providing sexual stimulation. Erotic short stories written specifically for women are a booming literary niche, and scientific studies have shown that reading erotic literature several times a week can increase libido in women with low desire.
Along the same lines, enjoyment of X-rated or sexually provocative DVDs may build some women’s sexual interest and desire over time. For long-time couples, a racy movie may be the right ingredient for jump-starting a ho-hum sex life or for helping fuel arousal in women (or men) in whom arousal takes a bit longer than it used to. If you and your partner enjoy the charge you get from the “naughtiness” of a suggestive movie or book, think about continuing to experiment with new ones if the quality of your sex improves as a result.