So much of sex and intimacy is about feeling special, so it’s natural for the flame to flicker if sex becomes routine and loses the element of discovery and excitement. Regardless of your sexual problem or other menopause treatments you might be trying, the following strategies should increase the odds that your sex life (and overall relationship) remains healthy, exciting, and satisfying.
Schedule regular date nights. These nights can be once a week or once a month, depending on your circumstances, but they should be strictly kept and honored. The focus should be mutual activity and intimacy, not necessarily just sex. If done right, however, the sex will often follow.
Plan a mini-trip away from home. Like date nights, a planned trip with your partner will make intimacy a priority and ensure that you find time for sex without the distractions of work, home, and family. It can also give you the time for extended lovemaking that allows for plenty of touching, foreplay, and rediscovery of each other.
Toy around. Introduce a new element to your lovemaking by picking something up from an adult boutique, such as a sex toy, erotic lingerie, a sexual enhancement cream, or a flavored lubricant. Just be sure to pretest all topical products on a safe area of your body (like behind the ear) to rule out skin irritation. And be sure your partner is on board with the general idea of toys or erotica to avoid misunderstandings.
Getting intimate in the kitchen or in a secluded spot in the woods can charge you with a new sense of daring and excitement.
Venture beyond the usual. Try new positions, different times of day, or different rooms in the house. Getting intimate in the kitchen or in a secluded spot in the woods can charge you with a new sense of daring and excitement. Exploring alternatives to intercourse, such as oral sex or passionate “necking” while still clothed, may take you back to the thrilling encounters of the early days of your relationship.
Plan an erotic surprise. The surprise might be making your partner’s favorite dish for dinner or preparing a candlelit bath for two or greeting your partner at the door wearing nothing but a _______ (use your imagination). The key is to pick a surprise you know your partner will like to make him or her feel special in a way that focuses on romance and intimacy.
Indulge your senses. Create an environment for you and your partner that engages all of your senses. You might try silk robes, seductive music, the smoky scent of fresh wood on the fire, the soft glow of tea lights, and the fruity zest of a glass of wine. This focus on sensation will help you be present in the moment and foster full arousal during lovemaking.
Be romantic and playful. Slow dance. Read poetry to each other. Leave hidden love notes. Tickle each other. Cuddle and laugh. At its most basic, sex is a form of play and an expression of love. Be as mindful of these aspects of sex as when you first met. If you do, your desire, arousal, response, and satisfaction can’t help but improve.